Games Motorists Play
I can still remember the time i was apprehended by a traffic enforcer along Edsa near GMA7. I saw the yellow light so I stopped immediately since i saw that there were a lot of crocs (what we call traffic enforcers due to their penchant for bribe taking) who were waiting for violators that day (hmmm must be nearing Christmas). When lo and behold, one of them approached me and was asking for my license. ”What violation?” I asked. “Well, stepping (on the pedestrian lane) and blocking (the normal flow of traffic).” he replied. What the hell, I just came from my PE class that day and those were some of the terms used in basketball parlance. “What do you think of this situation? a basketball game?” I asked. Years passed and one day, I thought of coming up with a list of games motorists play with traffic enforcers and with fellow motorists as well. At least I made an unfortunate incident inspire my creative juices and come up with something that has never saw the light of being written….until now!
1. Cops and Robbers—well, literally, it’s when you see cops chasing robbers while in their cars and shooting at each other. Boy, don’t ever try to get involved here or you won’t see daylight again. Sometimes, there is no shooting involved as in the case when a traffic violator just wants to prove that traffic enforcers are fools and can’t actually chase them. Maybe, these drivers don’t really know how bad traffic really is in the metro since I often see them trapped in the next traffic light and the enforcer smugly telling them to surrender their license.
2. Touch Taya—well, if you bump into another car, taya ka! Just be sure that your car is insured. At the very least, make sure you are insured especially if you keep on arguing with tricycle or jeepney drivers and are trapped in a spot where their kind far outnumber you. There’s no doubt that whenever your car gets touched or you touch another car, taya ka! and there’s hell to pay 
3. Pepsi 7-up—here’s what motorists usually do when a traffic enforcer is standing a few meters after the traffic light and awaiting its next prey. When he is looking and the light is still red, no one dares to move even an inch. But when he’s not looking and the driver can see that there’s no way the enforcer can catch him, watch him roar!
4. Patintero—this usually happens on a crossroad without a traffic light. motorists block each other’s path until no one can move already. come to think of it, no one wins here, so why play this in the first place
5. Hide and Seek—I saw this once while driving along shaw blvd. 1 driver beat the red light and the traffic enforcer gave chase. the driver had a good 10 seconds head start but traffic was already snarled ahead. he saw the enforcer radio for help and was wise enough to enter a 2nd hand car dealer and parked inside as if his car was also on sale. True enough, traffic enforcers in motorcycles were frantically searching for him on both sides of the street to no avail. Honestly, i was really tempted to point them where the driver was hiding but then again, i shouldn’t mind other people’s business.
6. Trump Card—well, the apprehended driver can present a lot of his connections’ calling cards until the traffic enforcer gives in and lets him go without a ticket. You just have to find the right card (a powerful one at that) and control yourself from shouting “super trump!”
7. Tex—well, if all else fails and you really don’t want the hassle of being given a ticket, then do what the tex players do when they lose….count the number of cards you lost, well in your case, the number of 100 peso bills you have to pay—”i-sa, da-la-wa, tat-lo….”
